We All Have Secrets
by Jess Sexton
Summary: Since the revelation of their marriage there is a lot of tension between Sam and Dylan, what doesnt help is Sam's little secret. Will she tell Dylan. If she does how will he react? Sam/Dylan
1. Turning Down an Offer

**Hey, this is my first fanfic, please review I am open to any sort of constructive criticism. Sam/Dylan**

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><p>Dylan<p>

Watching her had become a frequent habit of his since she had opened her big mouth about their marriage, when he and Zoe had been trapped in resus during the fire. It was as if he was on edge about what else about their already crumbling relationship that she would share with the world, or at least that was what he was telling himself. But lately Sam had been acting, well… odd. Instead of their usual rally of bickering she just remained silent and kept to herself which is something, even when they were married, that she very rarely did. Something was on her mind, he was sure of that, but due to the ever growing shadow on their relationship he was no longer able to figure out what that something was. Lost deep within the maze, that was his mind turning this way and that to figure out what was going on in his wife's head he barely even noticed one of the nurses talking to him, and intended on keeping it that way. He was hoping that the long absence of speech would make her leave him alone so that he could get on with finding something 'interesting' to do with his time.

"Dr Keogh... Dr Keogh?" the young woman pressed.

"What do you want? Need someone to hold your hand while you put a line in?" He added noticing it was one of the new nurses, and hoping that his harsh comment would be enough to send her walking off in the opposite direction.

"No." She uttered bitterly, the annoyance clearly coating her voice as she carried on speaking. "I need you to look over the patient in cubicle 3. Queried broken wrist."

He sighed obviously at the effort that that would force upon him and quickly tried to think of a way to weasel himself out of the situation. "Can't you bother someone else with this?" he stated bluntly when his efforts of finding an excuse failed rather miserably.

"No, everyone else is either busy or in resus." The young nurse's voice had softened slightly but there was still a bitter edge when she spoke. Dylan, realising that there was no way to get out of this, unwillingly took the patients file and swiftly wandered off ahead of the nurse toward the indicated cubicle.

"Right, Mr…"

"Green, my …" Mr Green attempted to say before being interrupted by Dylan.

"What is it that I have been dragged away from my busy schedule to do?" Dylan continued, uncaring of what Mr Green had just said, he had never really been any good at empathising with anyone let alone the patients, why Sam stuck buy him for so long was a mystery to him.

Noticing the understandable unease of the patient jumped in, "Hi I am staff nurse Conway and this is Dr Keogh, we are going to be taking care of you today." She added a small comforting smile in the patient's direction.

"Yes thank you for that touching speech. Shall we get on with this?" Dylan added sarcastically. This to his own amusement triggers another apparent nervousness within Mr Green.

"He really does mean well." Scarlet assures Mr Green while Dylan begins with running all of the usual tests. "Okay, I'm pretty sure that you've fracture your wrist, but I'm going to send you for and x-ray to assess the damage." He stated not waiting for so much as a nod of acknowledgement before immediately making an exit, narrowly missing Sam as he hurried away from cubicles.

Sam

She was idly wandering through the hospital toward the staff room to go on her hard earned break, not only was this a time for her to unwind but she was hoping that she wouldn't see Dylan, she had felt that the situation had gotten a million times worse since that night. That one night where she let her guard down, and she was now wishing she hadn't slipped up. Dylan hadn't stopped acting oddly whenever she was around, but he wasn't the one who should be acting abnormally, no that was her area of expertise. As she held a secret, which she knew she had to share soon. Uncaring she travelled swiftly through the hospital when she had a full on collision with the dark haired receptionist.

"Oh, Noel… I'm sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you okay?" she explained apologetically.

"Don't worry about it." He assured her, as she began to turn away. "Actually Sam I was looking for you."

"You were? Is something wrong?" The young doctor pursued the feeling of confusion arising in her.

"Well I don't actually know; they won't tell me."

"They?" She replied confusion rising even higher through her body, all the while her eyes looking into the man's dark brown eyes trying to see through into his mind.

"Oh right yeah, follow me." Noel lead her away from the waiting room and towards Mr Jordan's new office, which since the renovations has been situated on the ground floor amongst all the action. The way she was being lead only fed the ever rising feeling that something was terribly wrong, although she had the terrible she already knew what it was about.

"Come in Sam. Sit down" Nick gestured toward one of the chair in front of his desk, and the man standing on the other side of the room confirmed her suspicions.

"What's going on? Has someone been hurt?"

"Major Keogh, Ma'am. I have been sent to ask of your early return." The young man in camouflage saluted her which she instinctively returned. The name Keogh, she hoped would not unveil her real feelings as she had always been known as Keogh and it was her immediate plans to keep it that way, it was her way of keeping one of the only things she had left of her marriage to her husband. Sam guessed that he must be in his early thirties, and he was referring to her as his superior.

Sam debated on how to answer this; she knew that if she simply said she didn't want to they would find a way to make her. So maybe the truth. But she could tell her bosses the truth before she told Dylan, could she? "Well…Um…I', sorry but I just can't." She deciding that the truth was best.

"I'm sorry, ma'am do you mind me asking why not?" the young man pressed.

"It's a medical reason."

"But ma'am you're noted as being in perfect…" Sam winced at this comment, she knew exactly what she was going to have to do.

"Sam?" Nick questioned her, as he had not been informed of any illness.


	2. Remembering the Past

**Okay Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed it is gretly appreciated. Here's chapter two, I'm not 100% about this so please let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anthing, Casualty belong to the BBC.**

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><p>Tess<p>

'I hope everything is okay with her' were the very thoughts that ran through the older nurses head, from the moment Sam had stepped out of Mr Jordan's office she had been acting differently. She was being more cautious of everything she did, double checking; files, medication and always checking that how her patient was feeling, which was something the confident young doctor was usually very oblivious to not only was she being caution in her work but when she moved throughout the hospital she did her very best to keep out of everyone's way.

Over previous weeks it had become obvious as to why Sam and Dylan worked well as a couple, Tess was actually quite surprised that they hadn't spotted it before. Not only did they work as seamless as you could ever imagine when the worked with the same patient but they were both somewhat socially ignorant, which just added further to the mystery of why Sam was being so empathetic towards her patients and it wasn't just one patient, it was all of her patients, and how she managed to keep track was simply absurd.

"So what do you think all that was about?" A young, blonde doctor with a very distinguished Scottish accent mused to anyone that would listen, which at this point in the day was very few.

"All what was about?" The older woman questioned.

"Well… what Mr Jordan wanted to talk to Sam about, and why there was some army guy there." The young man nosed enthusiastically.

"It's none of our business; if Sam wanted us to know then she would have told us." She replied bitterly. Forcing the doctor to storm of in the opposite direction and sulk.

Dylan

Dylan's mind had been running circle round him all day as he thought of many different scenarios of the conversation between Sam, Mr Jordan and the mystery army representative. The one which most frequently visited the front of his mind was that Sam was being asked to go back to Afghanistan and if he knew his wife, which he was sure he did, she would go without a fuss, which for her means just disappearing off the face off the earth with only a phone call a week later from a distant country thousands of miles away.

Zoe

"Dylan…Are you listening?" Zoe demanded with a slightly sour edge to her voice as she spoke. "You've been acting funny all day, what's wrong with you?" Do which Dylan just nodded and turned away from her. The reason for his unusually strange behaviour, at this point in time was unknown to Zoe, until her dark brown eyes followed his gaze and found him watching his wife as she entered the staff room, assumingly it was the end of her shift. And before she could stop the over confident doctor retracing Sam's steps towards the staff room, he was gone which left Zoe calling his name, to try and remind him, even though she was sure he hadn't been listening in the first place, of his patient. Which to no surprise of Zoe's he completely ignored, as she knew full well that once Dylan had his mind set on something there was no way in changing his mind.

Sam

As a result of the mixture of stress and emotions of having to turn down another tour of Afghanistan, Sam was glad to finally be at the end of her shift. She had had to spend most of the day fighting back the continuous rounds of nausea, which she though was more to do with guilt than anything else. As she reached her locker the blonde doctor untied her already scruffy hair and wrapped the hair band securely round her delicate wrists. She began to pull out the contents of her locker ready to get change and go home when the staff room door opened.

Normally she would have turned round and greeted the new comer, instead she actually acted rather hostile towards them hoping that they would leave so she could change little did she know that her reaction was making the situation exceedingly worse than it needed to be.

"I'm assuming you weren't planning on telling me that you were leaving again." A bitter voce spoke from behind her. The sound of the voice compelled her to jerk her body round to face the speaker.

"Leaving." She replied annoyance and confusion evident in her voice. "Why would I be leaving?"

"Earlier in Mr Jordan's office; you we speaking to that soldier. I thought that I at least deserved to be told that you were leaving again." He uttered his voice beginning to grow louder with anger.

"Dylan I'm not going anywhere!" Sam longed to scream.

"So you're telling me that that soldier was her just to say 'hello'. C'mon Sam I'm not that stupid." He roared.

"Obviously you are, because I'm not going anywhere. I turned them down!" shrieking and breathing heavily Sam grabbed her clothes, bag and coat from her locker then slamming the door with and ear splitting clang, leaving Dylan standing in the middle of the staff room with a dumbstruck look on his face. Sam was sure people heard but she didn't care. How could he think that she would leave without saying goodbye, she would never… should just couldn't ever bear to hurt him anymore than she already had.

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><p>Sam was still fuming even after the long walk back to her flat, avoiding her usual route as it would have taken her right past Dylan's boat, which at this point in time may well have just tipped her over the edge.<br>Moving through her flat she flicked on the lights in every room created a familiar, comforting glow as the lights warmed up. One the flat had been flooded with light Sam headed straight for the kitchen but instead making something to eat like usual she headed directly for the ice cream. She remembered how Dylan used to hate how she would sit and eat nearly a hole tub of ice cream when she was upset, nonetheless she didn't care, it seemed like the only way to work through her problems although she knew that she would regret it later.

Wallowing in self-pity the young woman's blue eyes flickered over to one of the small, beige coloured unpacked boxes in the corner of the flat, and it suddenly dawned on her why that particular box was still completely full. It was the box of all hers and Dylan's memories from their marriage. Sam managed to force herself off of the sofa and towards the dusty box, when she reached the box she softly blew dust off the top and carried it back to her place on the sofa and began to look through. She had barely even taken the lid off the box before she could feel the sting of tears in her eyes. Blinking back the first line of tears she retrieved the first thing from the box; it was the pictures from her wedding, a day which she remembered as being perfect, but she now wasn't sure that Dylan had though that.

Looking through page after page of the cream photo album she felt the tears creeping up on her once again but this time shemade no effort to stop them in their tracks she let them flow freely. Unable to continue looking through the contents of the box and with salty tears falling down her pink cheeks, she closed the book and sunk down further into the chair clutching the photo album tightly to her chest, she began to sob. She sobbed until all her energy and tears had been completely drained from her body and all she could do was lay there, curled up tightly in a ball with her eyes closed taking in the silence.

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><p><strong>I hope that you guys like it and until next time :) x<strong>


	3. All Is revealed

**Thank you to Everyone that has been reviewing! I am so sorry that I havent updated in so long I have had so much on and have literally had no spare time to write.**

**Disclaimer: Again I own nothing, all characters ect... belong to the BBC**

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><p>Sam<p>

After crying herself to sleep the night before Sam had had a fairly decent night's sleep, well in the sense that she slept through, something she hadn't done for a while, due to her haunting nightmares of her time in Afghanistan. Sam woke to be wrapped in the cold air, from the chilled winter scene outside. As she moved into a more comfortable position she realised that the photo album, she had fallen asleep clutching to her chest, had fallen to the floor slightly bending a few of the pages. Seeing the photo album again prompted the familiar stinging in her eyes; not wanting all her memories to be destroyed even more than they already were she quickly snatched up the photo album and put it back in the box and closed the lid tightly.

Dylan

As usual Dylan had arrived much earlier for work than was necessary, pottering round CDU looking through all of the pointless cases that had landed themselves onto his desk. Boredom growing inside of him he wandered off towards cubicles, just in time to see Sam walk in the ED and stroll of towards the staff room ready to start her shift. Seeing her after the events of the day before still spiked anger within him, he couldn't work out why Sam would have turned down returning to the army, a few weeks ago he was sure that she would have jumped at the chance to return.

Though bustling of all the new Ed patients, Dylan decided that he would slip off back to CDU before he got called upon by one of the nurses who, in his opinion were just too lazy to treat the patients themselves. Every now and then he would catch a glimpse of his wife. And without realising it he had spent the rest of the day looking out for anything out of the ordinary.

Sam

As she arrived for her shift Sam had spent a lot of the time fighting back continuous waves of nausea, not only was she fighting the urge to throw up she was focusing a lot of her efforts on trying to hide this feeling. When she got back from her lunch break Sam was got a case from a major RTC and, if she was perfectly honest, it didn't look good. And she was determined to fight against the odds to save her patient.

But before she knew it her head was spinning and the nausea was once again creeping up on her, but this time worse than ever. Charlie was calling her name, or at least she thought it was Charlie, she couldn't tell. "Sam?... Sam, are you going to be okay?" Sam shuffle a few feet backwards from the trolley with her hand up to her mouth, the room was spinning she couldn't tell the difference between the people in the room and the various pieces of medical equipment that were dotted around the room. It seemed like she had been standing there for hours before she collapsed onto the cold hard floor.

Nick

"Sam?... Sam, are you going to be okay?"

He heard the words vaguely in the back of his mind, which caused him to immediately turn round based on the information she had given him yesterday. When he did turn round he saw a very pale looking, blonde doctor looking extremely unstable on her feet. Although she was not on her feet very long before she slumped onto the floor.

"Sam?" many concerned voices called from every direction as Mr Jordan rushed forward and scooped the female doctor up into his arms. "Charlie, prepare a bed next door. Put up some of the screens." He said knowing that Sam probably wouldn't want the whole hospital knowing her private business. He quickly rushed Sam next door and placed her on the bed Charlie had prepared for them, before starting his examination. A few minutes after they had arrived in the private room Sam began to stir.

"Sam… Sam do you understand me?" he asked quietly, aware of the concern that was evident in his voice, to which she gave a weak nod.

"Good, okay. Do you have any pain in your abdomen?" Again she replied with a nod.

"Okay," Turning away from Sam he carried on speaking, "Charlie can you grab me a portable ultrasound?"

"Sure." He replied before retreating from the room.

"Right, is there any one I can contact for you? The… um… father?"

This question triggered a very prominent look of fear to stretch itself across her pale face. "Okay, okay. Don't panic." Just then Charlie had re-entered the room with the ultrasound machine. With which he proceeded to examine Sam's abdomen.

Sam

Seeing it there on the screen finally made the whole situation seem just that little bit more real. Her child. Which at this point was not much more than a splodge on the screen, but even seeing her child as a splodge on the screen sent a wave of joy through her. Until a loud noise disturbed her peaceful thinking, Sam was thinking of her future, her future with her baby.

It soon became clear who was disturbing the peaceful silence, as the sound of Dylan's worried voice began to question Mr Jordan. "Where is she? What happened? I hear she collapsed, is she okay?" the series of questions shot from his mouth like shot gun fire, not giving Jordan anytime to answer between each question. Let alone react quick enough to hide what he was doing or the screen which now had a very clear image of Sam's unborn child spread across the screen.

"Doctor Keogh, you can't just burst in whenever you please." Dylan couldn't find the words to reply his eyes transfixed on the ultrasound screen. "I think… I will leave you two alone to, um talk." Mr Jordan stated as he handed her a paper towel to wipe of the ultrasound gel. There was a few minutes silence after Jordan had left the room until Dylan decided to brave breaking the deadly silence.

"So, your…um… Pregnant."

Both of them unable to look each other in the eye, Sam replied, "Yes."

"H…how many weeks are you?"

"About ten." Dylan suddenly looked up and the look on his face reminded Sam of one of those cartoons when they would get an idea and a light bulb appears above their head, only with Dylan there was also the look of disbelief mixed in.

"And, the… um… father."

"Do I really need to answer that?"

"Right. So, are you… what do you want to do?"

"Dylan I'm going to keep it, but if you don't want to be involved, I completely understand." He stood there for a moment thinking of what he wanted to do, before promptly walking out without saying a word. This behaviour gave Sam the assumption that he didn't want anything to do with the baby, and she did mean it when she said that she would understand.

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><p><strong>Yes so all of you who guessed that Sam was pregnant you were right, I'm not really sure about this chapter so please review and let me know what you think. <strong>

**So I hope that this answers any questions that you had, and I will hopefully update again soon with how Sam and Dylan are coping.**


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